I Grant My Own Wishes

I reserve exuberance for my own affairs
Declining invites which fill me with cares
Not for my own life
Towards other's misdeeds
I'm not a resource to drain
I seek only relief

Safety within bounds
Created by me
Balanced quite easily
Sustainable Queen
Capable, steadfast, power received
So long as I grant my own wishes deep.

-Kelly Voelker

Created in Mid-Air

What feeling lit upon my shoulder
Hiding from my eyes as I looked
To see what strange emotion I felt?

Why, I soon realized it was happiness
It was a light happiness
Not stemming from anything
Not a cause and effect happiness
Not a happiness from a special occasion

This happiness was near to
A small song bird
Out of season with Fall's
Eminent hardening.

I was hosting sisters
At my temporary home
After a day of laughter and games
Competition held in mid-air by games
Not allowed to hurt or discount

I was unattached to any material objects
In the house which were arranged by me
But not held dear for longer than a season
Unattached to contracts or expectations
Only an agreement of geography to
Experience family most days of the week.

This happiness was created in mid-air
At the center of the table
Where my family and close friends
Played as a circle of commitment
To fun and games in the middle of the day
Refusing to be hardened off by the season.

Kelly Voelker

Someone From Sioux City

I had the feeling, the look, the authentic owning
Of all this moment was, throughout all timelines.
It was a cherry- picked pinnacle of any timeline
It was memorable, exhilarating and promising
Wrapped in this circumstantial banquet
I was everyone's dream and everyone's fond memory
I was inside the bubble usually looked upon

This crisp fall day in the Midwest waited for me
To finish a list of tasks, welcoming me after.
I rode on someone else's bicycle
To my small town post office
My parcel in a handmade cloth bag
On to my own Mother's warm room

I played cards and told her of my healthy day
Of my grapes, my apples and tea
I told her of new opportunities
She watched me leave on the bicycle
Before she went to supper.
All was complete . . . as it should be

This was a day after an early hard freeze
The leaves were damp on the grey pavement
I watched the tendrils on my new bicycle tires
Roll softly and silently over them.
I was making secure and sure contact with the ground

I crossed over small bridges with rough pavement
I looked over the railings and daydreamed about
All the animals who surely use these creekbeds
To travel through the town when no one is awake
I drove past homes which were unchanged
Even after over 30 years when my high school
Teachers lived in them.
The meters were still spinning and the
Foundations are still solid on these old houses.

I knew I looked more current than others
I knew I was like a California sticker
Stuck on a photograph of a town which
Looked better than I remembered.
Today it was better than I remembered
Today it was better than I hoped

Today was an incorruptible safe of life's experience
I missed no one
I desired nothing
I was what someone would miss or desire
Not by myself, but in this kinetic tumbling
Through town with no resistance or dread

I felt as though I was a few moments ahead
Of everything and everyone else
Carrying my past to the post office
Sending it to someone who valued it
Someone from Sioux City.